Whatever, boys have cooties anyway

♫ Why aren't the older men in this office taking a shine to me like they generally do in the street and through other casual encounters?

Joe needs an editor

Joe: "helly you look pretty wasted in all these photos.If he had taken the word wasted out, that woulda been a real sweet thang.

I want to accuse my mother of loving the dog more than me when I read this, but I fear she would get upset...

Please read about "Buddy."

Lunch

♫ The musician in Dupont Circle would like to step outside into the fog like a ghost where no one notices he plays the same Counting Crows song every day.

Advice For a Victim Of Unrequited Love

♫ Don't lionize pandas Aunt Joni. They don't think about you ever.

Q: Why you don't call me anymore?

♫ A: I will field all your awkward questions during my lunch hour

Every Little Bit Counts

For those working and living in the Dupont Circle area, please remember to recycle your Church of Scientology literature this Earth Day

Did you know?

Joe loooves his personal property

Helly to Street Sense Vendor: Don't Front about the Quality of Your Publication

While it is an interesting concept and a great cause, I don't know that we can quite call Street Sense in good faith "the greatest paper on earth"

The Truth About Litter

♫ Litter doesn't kill sea creatures, people kill sea creatures (as well as other predatory sea creatures)

I asked Joe - "do you want to know what my gchat status says?" He sighed so audibly I could hear it from where I was sitting 12 feet away. Here it is:

My queue would suggest I am very ambitious about my longevity and confident that Netflix will continue operations well into the 22nd century.

Area Construction Worker Makes Woman Feel Good

Area woman's self esteem got a boost this morning after a construction worker in the street said "Hello pretty mhhhmhmm."

"Normally I'd be offended by the implication of the sound he made, and disgusted by his grandfatherly age, but my boyfriend, Joe, had just said I 'look like hell' so it was a real welcome gesture," she said of the exchange, and also referring to her droopy eyes and overall unhealthy appearance after a night of heavy drinking.

Texting & Walking

A Primer

Year-End Fiscal Report

I make enough money to start a lower-middle class family

A Fat Cat

A Fat Cat: A Power Point Presentation

Like the autistic oboe player unable tie his shoes, so too am I unable to come up with a relevant title for this post

Did Aunt Becky ever get embarrased when Uncle Jesse prefaced make out sessions with the phrase "have mercy"? Was she semi-aware in a proto-postmodern way that she was trapped in a world of obligatory taglines of questionable comedic value?

Independent Research Study Results

47% of LOL's are falsified